"Oh my..."

THQ has garnered quite a reputation for bringing out large quantities of average-quality licensed games lately, but their intentions have always seemed honorable. Bratz: Forever Diamondz, however, is an insult to the intelligence of young girls everywhere. Granted, little girls have changed since I was young, but if this game is an accurate representation of today's youth and where we are going, I can say without hesitance that there is little to no hope for our race.

Bratz: Forever Diamondz is not a fun game. It begins with a nonsensical driving mini game that gives Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing a run for its money. First you design your transport truck's paint job (what's it for, anyway?), and then you hit the road. There are no twists or turns and you cannot go off the road. There are no obstacles, and only a loosely defined goal: get to the end of the road. While you could simply hold down A and not even look at the screen, you're encouraged to pick up “blingz” (pink tokens) as you drive. While there are other cars on the road, you can essentially drive right over them with no serious repercussions, though regrettably losing some blingz in the process.

As the game progresses you shift between meaningless interludes in town, where you explore poorly designed cities in an RPG-esque fashion, completing various objectives, such as purchasing CDs or clothing. Certain mini-games will also be presented, though mostly optional. Virtually all of them are essentially as challenging and mentally stimulating as the first fun with trucks game, however. Even for a game whose primary audience consists of ten year old girls, Bratz: Forever Diamondz contains no challenge, no amusement and no substance.

The game's story makes little sense to me, but is probably the single redeeming factor Bratz: Forever Diamondz has to offer, if only for the absurdity that it is actually marketed towards children. Our heroes, as the founding members of Bratz Magazine, Cloe, Yasmin, Sasha and Jade are out to win some kind of contest by finding a number of girls to compete in the “America Rocks Fashion Show” in New York. The winning team gets a contract with fashion designer “Mucci Fiari”, and a pair of custom diamond go-go boots. It's almost a little offensive, the idea of such values being instilled in little kids these days. Our heroes are competing against Burdine Maxwell, the self-proclaimed queen of fashion, who I understand is a previous antagonist from another game. Despite much of the story being insulting, some of the dialogue is well-written and fairly witty, though probably over the head of its target audience. One of the antagonists in the game, one of Burdine's minions, seems to be suffering from a perpetual rhinoplasty recovery, her nose bandaged from the get-go. Pretty racy for a kid's game.

Bratz: Forever Diamondz sports fairly standard graphics for a THQ game. Adequate essentially sums it up well. The game is colorful and cheery as it should be. The girls are all animated well, with large detailed sprites. Backgrounds are fairly bland, however, sometimes looking more like something out of a NES title. Cut scenes are much better, using still frames of the characters in a well-done manner, looking much like what you would see on television or wherever the Bratz girls are featured outside of the game.

Musically, it's a bit of a standoff. Much of the fanfare rabble played before mini-games and while being given instructions is brutal, little more than a collection of beeps and buzzes. Outside of that it can be fairly catchy, usually composed of thumping disco beats with a voiceover “Yeah!!” thrown in for good measure. Unfortunately, there's only a small amount of differing tunes, and many of them are used far too often.

There's little play time to expect with this game. Most people will probably complete in a little over an hour, maybe less. While you can unlock mini games to play at the title screen as you go along, I didn't find any of them to be particularly engaging. I don't think this game is really worth picking up, especially if you have a kid sister. It'll probably do more harm than good. It might be worth a rent, I suppose.